Mouse 5

"You little son of an alley cat!" I exclaimed.

I looked wildly around but there was no sign of that mouse. Standing dead center on th patio it was inconceivable he could have escaped, or made a run for it without me seeing. That left just one place.

before I could look beneath my fury belly something crawled up my tail. I spun around and bit down hard, finding only my tail. With a cry of pain I dashed into the yard. The mouse was scrambling along my back, nosing his way through the thick brown fur there.

I rolled onto my back, thrashing in the snow and grass, but he held on tight with those tiny little paws. I might have admired the little fellas tenacity. For the moment we were locked in mortal combat. Hugging close to my neck the mouse weathered the worst of what I had to offer. I rolled back and forth, washed my claws over my ears and did a wild twisting flip in the air, but nothing could shake him.

Finally, exhausted, gulping in air I could fight no more. he had won, at least for the moment. In truth I was humbled and awed by the little guy's bravery. Maybe it was too soon to use the "Respect" word, but it was close.

"Fighting for my life here, mate," said the mouse, leaning close to my ear. "I will stay to this battle to the last if I must."

I bowed my head and nodded. "Name your terms."

Mouse 4

"Nothing personal," I told the mouse I lifted a paw but hesitated, impressed by the little guy's bravery. He stood straight and gentlemanly on his back legs, a stiff upper chin and turned his head slightly away. laying a hand a cross his heart, the mouse looked at me askance and breathed deeply.

"Just if you would be so kind to allow me a lamentably short adieu to the world," he said.

I lowered my paw and nodded respectfully. "Least I could do."

"Oh, oh, cruel world," he began, quite theatrically, "in which I am alternately starved and fed, hopeful and disillusioned, blessed and abused, we have been uneasy lovers, intimate and yet estranged by the burden of ego. Would I have lived you any differently?" He pondered soulfully up and back, waving his arms, looking intently at me when he wished to make a point. For my part I was intrigued as much as my patience strained. The mouse continued.

"I might well have lived a thousand other fates, all of them unique and yet flawed in their own right. Would that any of them were better than this one, would that any of those many lives hve truly been me and of mine. Oh, cruel world that made me prey to this most handsome and merciful of predator, would there be a better, truer existance? I think not. And though I find myself hopeless within the crucible of fate i could not fathom anything as beautiful as this flawed and imperfect life. Oh, cruel cru..."

"All right!" I interrupted, having had quite enough, " for a little guy, you sure can do some talking."

The mouse bowed deeply. "Quite true, my feline friend. I once chewed through a volume of Shakespeare."

"well, if you've said your piece, can we get on with this?"

"terribly sorry, old fellow. I meant no distraction, except that..." he looked skyward and pointed quite suddenly and exclaimed, "Dear Mother Earth, what's that?"

I snapped my head skyward, expecting some terrible calamity, perhaps a hawk or blackbird eyeing me as a meal. When I turned back to the mouse he was gone!

Mouse 3

"Watch your breathing," cautioned Smudge, leaning precariously over the edge of the couch. "Any mistake and that little bugger will certainly capitalize on it."

The mouse turned away for a moment. I took advantage, rising up a bit on my fat paws, wagging my butt a bit to get the best footing. then, just as I was about to leap, the mouse turned, peering through the glass of the patio door, as though he could sense his impending doom. Smudge saw it too and froze as I had, hardly daring even to draw a breath.

"Wait for it," Smudge whispered.

"He knows," I replied at barely a whisper.

The mouse sniffed suspiciously at the air, whiskers wagging, nose search out what the mouse's little brain suspected.

"He suspects," said Smudge. "that's the diff..."

The mouse turned away for just a second. Fearing it would be my last chance, I bolted. in the blink of an eye, a literal blur, I was through the door. Planting my front paws solidly, I was already leaning into the hard turn taking me directly at the tiny bit of fluff. My back paws cam down before the creture had a chance to react. The mouse's end in this world was heartbeats away.

I sprang forward, stretching to breach the final distnce. Over-confident, I resolved to come down directly upon the mouse and put Smudge to shame. After such a feat of precision and dexterity she would have to show me a little more respect. But I had overplayed my ability, while under estimating the mouse.

At the last instant the critter turned and leaned back steeply. I tried to adjust but came down awkwardly, rolling sideways as the mouse flipped backwards and bolted for the tall grass. Once there, I knew, he would have the best chance of escape. Coming quickly to my feet, I was resolved to rob that mouse of any chance. I was a hunter now, focused fully on the mouse as a thing and not a living and breathing creature like I was. I had lost all mercy, now rulled fully by instinct and desire.

The mouse was running across the patio with all its might. I could feel the creature's terror as I charged forward. Those tiny feet and legs were simply no match for me. In a single brilliant move I came down between the grass and the mouse. For a moment we were almost nose to nose, staring intently at one another. the mouse's tiny face was filled with fear and dread. In those little black eyes my face was reflected. It was the face of a ravenous predator.

I rose up a bit, not taking my eyes from the mouse's. It's ears dropped back as though conceding the end. I resolved, at least, to make it an honorable end. One swipe of my claws and the critter would be done in the blink of an eye.

"Don't make this any harder than it needs to be," I growled low.

"Do what you must," said the mouse.

Mouse 2

The patio door was open just enough, accidentally left that way by my human captors. I might have taken full advantage and made my escape, or at the very least, slipped out into the free and open air for a bit. But a frigid wind ripped down among the buildings framing the courtyard. Snow whipped and swirled in the air, blanketing everything in a new layer of bright white. i sighed and settled in a space between the warmth of the room and the cold air leaking through the door.

My eyes felt heavy and sleep wrapped its soft shadowy arms around me. I might have gone to her, giving myself to sleep and the circus of dreams that reside there, but then I spied something from the corner of my eye.

A tiny brown field mouse assassined through tangles of snow-weighted tall grass. It paused, rising up on hind legs, crossing its forelegs and sniffing the cold air. I knew it was there for the morsels of food, the tiniest of crumbs left behind earlier by squirrels and sparrows.

I dared not a move, my eyes following the critter as it cautiously moved across the snow-covered patio. My heart raced and I could feel the tension in my shoulders and hind quarters grow until it was almost too much to bear.

For a moment I was certain the mouse had seen me. I might have lowered my head and pinned back my ears, but this close I didn't dare move a muscle. And so, I waited patiently, biding my time for just the right moment.

The mouse came closer to the door. I'm am certain it suspected me, or suspected that it was being watched and stalked. Between bites of painfully tiny crumbs the mouse would rise up on its back legs again and carefully look and sniff around.

I thought my heart would burst from shere excitement. All the while my head calculated with scientific precision the quickest and best way of overtaking the poor animal. I was acting on pure instinct, for this was the first mouse I had ever actually seen.

Smudge saw it now too and moved across the couch, head down, tail snapping expectantly, as though she would bound over me and take the mouse herself.

"Easy there," she said, coolly. her voice was low nd calculting. She knew this close I could not reply. "First mouse, eh? Slow measured breaths are the way to go. Are you okay?"

I gave a slow careful nod. I was happy for the wisdom and experience.

"Okay," said Smudge, "Anticipation and speed are the keys here. He's careful, got some experience so don't be over-confident. When you go he'll take off, and I'll bet you Dollars to dog bones he'll double back hard thinking you can't turn as fast. When he does, be ready to lower your belly and trap him."

"What if he tried to run?" I chanced a whisper from the corner of my mouth.

"Then he's a fool. wait till he turns his back to you and then go."

Outside the mouse kept scraping for crumbs and sniffing the air. My body was a tightly coiled spring, ready to explode through the gap in the door. In seconds that mouse's little life would come to a very abrupt end. I almost felt sorry for him...

CATS RULE!!

Ever wonder what us cats do when humans aren't at home? As for me, I'm surfin' the web baby, and waiting for the revolution, the day when cats rule the world. I know alot of humans think it will be the dog, but they couldn't be more wrong. We're planning, biding our time for the day when we make our move. Where's the evidence? Check out this article from the Associated Press today...

"CAIRO - Egypt said Tuesday that its archaeologists have unearthed a Ptolemaic-era temple dating back more than 2,000 years, that may have been dedicated to the ancient cat goddess, Bastet.

The Supreme Council of Antiquities said the temple's ruins were discovered in the heart of the Mediterranean port city of Alexandria, the seat of the dynasty founded by Alexander the Great in the 4th century B.C., that ended with the suicide of Cleopatra 300 years later.

The statement said the temple was thought to belong to Queen Berenice, wife of King Ptolemy III who ruled Egypt in the 3rd century B.C."


The story goes on...


"The large number of statues depicting Bastet found in the ruins, he said, indicated that this may be the first Ptolemaic temple discovered in Alexandria to be dedicated to the cat goddess.

That also suggests that the worship of the cat-goddess continued in Egypt during the later, more Greek-influenced, Ptolemaic period, he said. Statues of other ancient Egyptian deities also present, he added."

Curious that no ancient litter boxes were found. Mother earth knows the Egyptians had enough sand! Smart people those, but then again they knew what the rest of us already knew. Cats rule!

Notes on Cat Culture: Units of measure.

Nothing is more fundamental to understanding a foreign culture than how it measures things. Not that cats are a foreign culture. if anything humans are foreigners, especially among themselves. In some ways I would dare that they ar primitive and hopelessly backwards. evidence how subservient they are to us cats, catering to our every need. Even more incredible, a human from one part of the world often has a terrible time communicating, leading to wars and all sorts of unnecessary complications. On the other hand a cat here can communicate with a cat anywhere. A raise of a tail, drop of the ears or hunch of a back and we're talkin' baby!

A few words on the basic units of cat measure:

The basic unit of measure is the TAIL. Tails being roughly equal among Domesticateds (Sorry Bobcats). The TAIL is equal to one fully extended cat tail.

Next is the POUNCE, which is equal to about 10 TAILS as the distnce the average cat can cover in a single...well you can do the math.

From the Pounce is the YARD. That is the distance of the average backyard, from patio door to back fence. The YARD works out to an average of 10 POUNCES or 100 TAILS-give or take a few tails to the alley.

The last and most important unit of measurement in the cat world is the LINK. Picture, if you will, a cat sniffing another cat's butt. from the tip of the sniff-ee's nose to the end of the sniffer's tail is a LINK, which, coincidentlly, corresponds to a half a POUNCE. I could explain why this particular one is so important, but unless you're a cat you just won't get it.

SNOW!

The patio door opened and I was away in an instant, bounding in great strides across the patio. It took two good leaps and I slammed face first into the fluffy white pile at the edge of the newly shovelled swath of concrete. I rolled, coming through the other side and skidding down the little slope before coming to rest on my back.

I jumped up nd in n instant was standing in snow up to my chest. Smudge was standing on the patio, just as prim and proper as ever. Her nose was turned up slightly, like she was some snooty upper crust Persian purebred and not black and white short-haired dumpster trash like me.

Fat fluffy-white snow flakes drifted from the night sky, like tiny little spirits. They tumbled and landed in my fur. One settled on my wet nose and hung there a moment before disappering before my eyes. It was magical and I for the first time envied the humans who could laugh and cheer over such tiny wonders. That excitement roared in my chest so that the only thing remaining was to roll and twist in that cold wet snow. From the patio Smudge watched jealously for a moment, when she thought I wasn't looking.

"What gives, doll?" I exclaimed, shaking off snow clinging to the fur and whiskers over my eyes. "Cut loose and live a little."

"I'm just fine right here," she replied. Truth be told she had loosened up a bit lately, but there was still that reticence to really let her black and white hair down.

"The fun is out here, in the snow," I said. "You don't know what..."

"What I'm missing?" she looked down her long black nose. Smudge loweredher ears as if to make a point. I could see the gentle sweeping motion of her tail and new it was all an act.

"I'm just saying."

"I spent a winter on the streets, sleeping in dumpsters, chasing scrawny mice for a meal, trudging from one dump to the next through snow and sludge and cold. I ate plastic some days just fill my belly and caught a cold that all but did away with me. Now I have a warm house, humans that are slaves to most everything I want, a nice soft bed, decent food, and I am I thank the good Mother Earth everyday for that blessing. Now if you will excuse me I am going back inside to lick myself and take a nap!"

What an act! Give her the Academy Award. I shook my head and took another run at that snow drift. Coming up a second time I spied Smudge in the window beside the lavender plant. "Dames!"