Saturday, February 27, 2010

Mouse7

The mouse drew a small pair of eyeglasses from his fur and laid them across his pointed nose. His whiskers twitched once or twice, mulling over a thought.It was quite an odd scene, as you can well imagine!

“Let’s review our options in overcoming our, shall we say, impasse.

“As I see things,” I said, “A, I eat you or B, I don’t. Honestly, I’m leaning heavily towards B right now.”

“A simplified way of things,” said the mouse, smugly. “What I would expect from a creature of below average faculties, but let’s not quibble. As you have stated, that is indeed the conundrum.”

“Should I be insulted?” I was thinking that I could simply lean across and, with little difficulty, swallow him whole.

“Never mind.” He waved a tiny little paw. “Rather, let’s examine the pros and cons of each option, shall we?”

“Continue.”

“So you decide to eat me. What is to be gained from that?”

“You’re delicious?”

“Your opinion.”

“Shall I call Smudge,” I smirked, “and we’ll have a vote?”

The mouse looked down his long nose in a scolding sort of way, then continued. “So I am eaten, swallowed and gone. The pro, from your limited perspective is lunch. But what are the cons?”

“Can’t really see any, I’ll be honest.”

The mouse frowned, pacing back and forth in a deliberative manner. “Try and keep up with my keener intellect, my raccoon-tailed predatory friend.”
Again with the insults, I fumed. He may have been stating a strong case, but he sure wasn’t helping it much. Still, I was enjoying this. I loved the role of hunter, feeling as though I was king of the world. As the mouse spoke my thoughts drifted, where I was both feared and honored by all the little creatures of the world. I was, however, still smarting from the insult, and all but ready to put an end to all this.

“I’ll try,” I replied, indignant, “to wrap my mind around your superior rodent brilliance!”

“All I can ask.” The little fellow didn’t miss a beat.

“Go on.”

“The game!” he exclaimed.

“The game?” I asked.

“The game. That’s what we risk.”

“Don’t follow.” I cocked my head. From the corner of one eye I could see Smudge throw back her head in disgust.

“Imagine that one day all the mice came you nd that you could eat everyone of them?”

“Oh, like a big mouse buffet?”

“But then what?”

“A nap?”

“No, my granite headed companion. Then the game is over. It’s about the chase, not the conquest. Like a fine meal…”

“Which would be you,” I winked, a bit cruelly. It wouldn’t be fair to let the mouse’s shots at me go by without some sort of satisfaction, short of making him a quick snack. That was, however, still a looming possibility.

“Indeed!” he scoffed. “No, don’t you see? I am the hunted and you the hunter. It defines you, but without me what are you? You would be a fat cat on a shelf, slurping down Friskies without any purpose in the world.”

“Not hearing the bad part yet,” I said, though I kind of got what he was saying.

“Here’s the deal. You let me go and I promise to run across the patio. Now and then I let you catch me, bat me around a bit. Look at reality, bub, we aren’t in the jungle. This is civilization, and we should be bound to civilized behavior while celebrating our nature. Do we have a deal?”

I sighed heavily. I wished more time to think all this through, but for now I was willing to give the little guy the benefit of his good arguments, to say nothing of his spirit. Little did I know what it would mean for me in the days to come. I held out a paw and he touched it with his. Like gentlemen we shook on the deal.

“Go with Mother Earth, little friend,” I said. With that he turned and scampered away across the lawn. At the door Smudge could only shake her head in disappointment.

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